The Story of Menchedita Copalchines's Very First Communion

The Story of Menchedita Copalchines's Very First Communion

            So, this is the story of Menchedita Copalchines, you know, the one who has the little brother and whose mother is the one, you know the one I mean, well she was going to make her first holy communion and they were making her a white dress with pink lilies and purple daisies on it and she got new shoes with pearls on them and real sapphire diamonds and silk shoe laces and a candle with a bowtie and she got a perm and a crown of white flowers to wear on her new hair-do.  And so since the communion was going to be in the morning of the next day after the day before yesterday, her parents made her go to convection.  The priest was in a box, sitting on a chair stuck to the wall (who knows how he could sit like that, "vertical" like my teacher says).  And she was really scared about sins because she didn't know how you're supposed to say your sins and if something was a sin or not, but just in case, Menchedita had hers written down on a piece of paper and so when she saw the girl wearing a shawl go out of the box, she went into the contentional all nervous her stomach was gurgling and she was cracking her knuckles and when the priest went like this in the window with his hand like he was telling the train to keep moving she knelt down quick and said, "Good afternoon, Father, is this where you go to tell your sins?"  "Yes, my child," he whispered, "you must say, 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.  I have done this, that and the other.'" And so she said, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned.  I have done this, that and the other," and the priest said no, that she should tell what her sins were and Mencheditas Copalchines said, "I confess, Father, that I have freckles." "What," he said, "you have what?"  "Oh, but it's not my fault, it's the hen's fault, she broke the jar of almond freckle cream my mother gave me."  "Oh, my goodness," said the priest to himself and was laughing inside.  "I confess, Sir," she continued, "that the other day I said Maurischevalié's name in vain, oh no, there, I just did it again!"  "But that's not a sin, my child," the priest said, trying to be a nice guy and pretending it was nothing serious.  "OK, then, if it's not a sin, I'm sorry I mentioned it," said Menchedita.  "I confess, Sir, that I dreamed about some crazy people and you know what, they pulled on my father's mustache and they stuck chewing gum in it and my mother was yelling about something they call distress and I hid under the sheets and prayed an Our Father I was so scared."  "But, my child, that's not a sin, either, dreams are just dreams!"  "Oh, well, sorry," said Menchedita. "Then I confess that my ears always have yellow goo in them."  "There, now that is bad, very bad!" the priest said, "because you should wash your ears every day with soap."  "But the yellow balls I take out of my ears are made of soap," she told him, "maybe it's because I wash too much, my mother says I should lather up good."  "Caramba," said the priest, "that's not much of a sin, either."  "Oh, I'm sorry," Menchedita said and then she said, ""Oh, no, I'm not going to be able to make my first communion because I don't have any sins!"  "What do you mean?" the priest asked her.  "And you're the ones whose fault it is, because you don't teach people the right way to make sins and oh, my dress is so pretty!" and she started to cry.   Then the priest said, "There you go, you see, now that's a sin, to be blaming adults for things.  And to be thinking a dress is so important, now that really is a sin!"  And then Menchedita said, "Thank God I finally have a sin because now I can have communion and I promise I won't wear my new dress tomorrow so I won't think it's too important and I'll save it to wear to the movies," and the priest couldn't hold it in and he let out a big laugh and seeing as he was inside the box it sounded really loud and Menchedita got scared and she ran out yelling, "Help! the priest is going crazy because I told him a sin, you better get him out of there and rub his back and settle him down!" and she went running home and that's the end of the story.